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Poetry of 1996

Belonging

9-20-95

Belonging for so long

but now pushed out

why won't they like me

I wonder

They say they'll listen

but no ones their

I try again

but their busy as always

why do they lie?

It makes my heartache

For the love and the joy

I knew long ago.

How Long must I wait?

9-18-95

Searching Long and hard,

for what can fill an empty heart.

I've searched every corner,

In darkness.

I've seen the light,

at the end of the tunnel.

But I cannot reach out to it.

How far must Igo?

The road is Long and hard

I fear I may die before it smooths out

How long must I wait,

until I look into his Face?

He who has always been there for me.

Whot got me this far.

When the day comes will I be able to stand proud before him,

or hide in that darkened corner in which I've sought him out?

How long must i feel ashamed?

Before I can feel his love about me once more.

Dear Lord Jesus how long?

Pain

9-17-95

The pain inside won't go away

It's like an empty hole,

not from friends or family.

But a loneliness for God.

To fill the hole you must confess all

and be willing to humble thyself.

Only he can fill the empty place.

Give you peace and joy,

but most of allLove.

He Loved me so much he sent his own son.

How do I return this Love?

With sin by turning away

I don't know how to make it

from one day to the next without him.

It's a struggle in which i cannot win.

I end up falling,

upon my bruised knees.

Looking for a loving face,

gentle hands

and kind words

only my Lord can give me.

And he's always their with what i Need

Who and Why?

9-19-95

Who put me upon this earth

and for what reason?

Not you, nor I, then who?

Some say a God who loves me,

one question answered,

but another remains.

Why was I put here?

So far I've made mistakes.

I feel He's dissappointed.

Why do I do it?

Only he knows,

certainly not for happiness.

It only lasts forawhile,

than it's gone.

So many times I've fallen,

into his loveing arms,

near to my death.

Why does He always uplift me?

Why does he listen?

Why does he Love me so much?

When all I do is turn away.

I do not know these answers,

and may not ever.

all i know is i'm thankful.

For what he's given.

Though I have nothing to give in return

 

A 3 letter word

11-13-96

hatred rages within

to the point where you

feel yourself breaking

you want to run

but no one will see you

You want to scream

but who will hear

no one sees the pain

It seems hate surrounds you.

For the world and even God

All because you can't udnerstand

One little 3 letter word,

Why?

Why would God let it happen?

Why does it seem he don't care?

Why did he choose your loved one to take home?

Why whenyour still needed?

Why does it hurt so bad?

Why if he loves you does he let anything

that'll hurt you happen?

Everything revolves around the word Why?

Why?

dedicated to my father

A Child to Teenagers Faith

1-9-96

As a child we had a faith

as we grow it falls away

what has changed,

him or I?

I hear teachers saying,

"God's the same today, tomorrow,and forever"

We've grown so far apart

but he seems a stranger now.

I've changed from an innocent child

to a teen of shame.

Afraid of what my friends would say, If i mentioned the Lord.

One should not worry about what friends will say.

You should only worry about the one on the throne,

and his words.

If you let your friends take control,

first they'll accuse you and say,

"you knew and never shared,

now we must suffer because of your ignorance"

Then the Lord will turn to you and say

"Go for I knew you not"

But wait you have time left

Change your ways before it's too late.

Dedicated to christians who hide in their closets and refuseto share with the world.Remember thy masters words. "Go for I knew you not " Will be more harsh then the words anyone here could say to you.

Passing Time

3-27-96

As time passed

the pain grows

IF you looked in my heart

would you understand?

Or would you turn away?

Call me strange or wierd

such names hurt

yet you continue useing

I knokw my differance

i know far more thenyou

I've grownin a world of hostility

I'm told theirs a God

then why he's stay hidden

when needed most?

Why can't I feel him near Me?

When Pain rises to killing

I have no where to turn

Where do you Go?

11-13-96

where do you go?

When the one you love is gone

No one understands the pain

they try to ease it

To only make it owrse

To be left alone

causes pain to arise

The one who knows

meets you in silence

You crawl on his knee

like a child

He holds you close

To whisper his love

He understands,

because he gave the greatest Love of all

His only Son

To suffer for all

So we may call him Father

 

Where do you turn

9-17-96

Where do you turn

when everyones gone

when the lights are out

and your all alone

why does it feel as if god's left you

you cry into the darkness

but only silence answers

you turn in circles

but see nothing

the light that you once knew

has flickered out

you know where the answers lie

but because of fear

you continue in darkness

know one can see your pain

you hide it from all

in fear of rejection

if they knew the you

outside of church

 

Your Enemy

3-27-96

So young yet so wise

few years were given

before death claimed him

I sit alone in my sorrow

Nothing but memories

No more laughter

I shall never hear him

speak another word

Shall never see him smile

Many precious things were were taken

the day God Claimed his life

but he gave me so much

he gave me the hope to live

a reason to go on.

his love for Christ I know it now.

Even though he has been silenced for eternity

His spirit shall not.

Dedicated to my father